As predicted, the burnout I could see on the horizon arrived and the following Monday after my last post when I attempted to work on my latest short story, I realised I couldn't. It felt as if my mind was simply saying, BATTERY LOW, PLEASE CHARGE. And so, I admitted defeat and decided there and then to take a much-needed breather from writing... although of course, because I am a complete masochist, I haven't been taking it easy and am typing this right now with over-worked, anxiety-ridden fingers.
I am currently in the middle of making some changes. A few weeks ago, after a lot of thinking, I have had a bit of a life laundry and Marie Kondo-ed my room, throwing away anything that doesn't bring me joy and spending a ridiculous amount of time eBaying the rest. I have a tendency to wait until I have done 'x' before I can do 'x' but I'm trying to remember that we only have one life and we're in it and to stop waiting. Hell, I even wrote a book about it and Weighting to Live is essentially the inner workings of my brain and even though it's been hard, it has had a monumental impact on my life. I still have to fight this voice inside my head telling me to revert to the old me, but I really don't want to give in as I know over time, that voice will get softer and softer until it is nothing but air.
Having the space from writing has afforded me some perspective with my books and writing and I have also made some changes there too. When I released my last ebook, Just Julia: a short story about eczema, in the weeks leading up to publication, I was so anxious, I was unable to see things clearly and as a result, my cover suffered. I did it quickly without much thought and it's been distressing me ever since I put it up. Over the last week or so I've been working on the covers for Just Julia and my other short story, The Dissection of Bryan Trout and I'm over the moon with how they turned out and feel as if they make a set next to my first short story, Fancy That, which is what I wanted in the first place.And so here we are. My life laundry is nearly complete and a tentative plan has been put in place for the next few months. Even though I am trying not to be as regimented in my goals and life in general, I do believe some kind of structure works well for me so for the foreseeable future, I will be focusing on:
- Editing and publishing my latest short story which I wrote earlier this year.
- Working on and updating the covers for my Weighting to Live series as I've realised after much soul-searching that they need to look as if they are part of a set and not standalone books as they do now.
- Think about getting an up-to-date author photo.
- Finish and add to the back of Curing my Incurable Eczema an update chapter.
- When all that's done, update my bio and all back matter in my books etc.
I would LOVE to get it all done by the end of June, but in new Cara fashion, I won't beat myself up if I don't. In the meantime I will of course be adding more waffly words to this blog and updating you on how I get on... so until next time x
