It's hard to write this without first acknowledging the big C: Corona. We all know exactly what it is, and how it has effectively brought the world to its knees, so I won't bother repeating what thousands of news outlets and social media posts have already said, but I will share how the situation has affected me. I'll preface this by saying that mentally I have just come out of three of the hardest months of my life. I still don't feel 100%, but compared to January, February and March, it's an improvement. For a while, everything just felt black - as if I had wandered off the path and completely lost my way. It's probably hard to imagine feeling better now in the midst of all this uncertainty than I did when things were ok in the world, but there you go. Ultimately, your mind is the boss and will dictate how you feel, no matter what's going on.
As far as writing is concerned, over the last few months I've definitely done a lot of book-related stuff, but honestly, I can't remember what happened yesterday so trying to unravel it all is difficult. What I can tell you is that I am about 80 pages in to a thorough first edit of the book I wrote last November as part of NaNoWriMo. The book is about 120 pages in total (I'm talking about a single spaced word document here and would be wayyyyyy longer if formatted for a paperback) so it's getting there. I know I have done a lot of other stuff over the last few months, but who the hell knows.
On the 16th March, the company I work for decided to temporarily close due to Corona (I work for a nightclub so enough said), although I've ended up working till today which has been stressful, but around that, I've found myself feeling better mentally and as a result, I have done a lot of thinking - if you have read this blog before then you will know that I do this on a regular basis. You might already be aware that for many years I have been embroiled in an ongoing saga with my covers - they have just never been right. In the past I have shared how happy I was with them when in reality there was always a little voice inside my head telling me they still weren't right, no matter what I did. Well, for the last two weeks, I have been working on them to the point where I finally feel satisfied. For the first time, they actually look like covers and not something I did myself. Here are the new (and hopefully improved) covers:
Ok, now back to Corona. No matter how you look at it, this situation is tough, but in the midst of all this uncertainty, I have been given something incredible - time. As a result of the government offering 80% of all lost wages to workers who are unable to do their job during this period, for the next few months (at least) it means I am essentially going to be paid to write. Real time to completely focus on the things I want to do for the rest of my life and not just a stolen few hours before and after my day job when I'm shattered. I am still nervous about everything, and in a perpetual state of heightened anxiety, but I am also excited. This week I have been tying up all loose ends and catching up on any outstanding book admin (of which there is a lot) before I can really focus on editing my NaNoWriMo book from last year.
.... aaaaaaaaaand she's done it again - a rather lengthy blog post where all I've ended up saying is, 'I have no job for the next few months and I'm going to use the time to write'.
I'll be back soon, I'm sure, with more unnecessary words, so until next time,
Cara x
P.S. Stay safe x
