I completely forgot...

...that this blog existed. 

This blog was created to act as a writing diary of sorts - a place to be able to document my feelings and share any bookish updates as an aspiring author/writer. The fact I haven't written on this blog for a number of years probably says everything. To sum it up in one tidy package: life got in the way, I had/have bills to pay, PTSD, and have gone about creating a life for myself somewhere new which has left very little time for writing. With that being said, I have still done some writing and my love of it remains, as well as a deep-rooted, desperate despire to do it as a career. I will try to sum up my life over the last 2.5 years:

• I've made a pretty great life for myself out of London. I moved somewhere new on my own which forced me to go out there and make a life for myself. I'm thrilled to say that said life was made, and moving here has hands down been one of the best decisions of my life
• I work six days a week between two jobs. Whilst I am not making my living as a writer, I do have two jobs I really like and work with a great bunch of people which I feel really grateful for. I did try last year, and the year before that, to get some freelance writing work, as well as look for a perminant writing position, but those attempts were rather woeful, and companies are only really interested in what's on your CV and not about the actual work ... which I totlly get, but then it becomes a chicken or the egg situation, so throw in the fact you have bills to pay and it's goodbye to writing
• Over the last few years I've self-published two short stories for free: Fancy That (which is part of my short story collection, Thirty-Minute Tales), and a completely new short story called #bekind that I'm rather proud of. They've gone down pretty well, and I've had a few sales of Thirty-Minute Tales as a result which is nice
• I also made my book, Weighting to Live, free which has been great and I just wish I'd done it sooner
• I self-published some trichotillomania and dermatillomania journals which are things I wish I'd had when I was trying to stop picking and pulling. So far, they appear to have been well received which is lovely
• In the last few months, my passion and excitement for writing fully returned when my friend told me about the most incredible writing competition. I won't mention anymore than that for now, but it involved me writing properly again, and that old love returned. I don't think I've dared throw myself back into writing for a long time because I didn't want to be disappointed. Sorry, I know that sounds completely pathetic, but life really does get in the way sometimes, leaving no time to write, so everything ends up passing you by and nothing's changed. I say this whilst also feeling really grateful for everything I have - it's just that I've suppressed this part of me for years because I haven't been able to make writing my job so I've just removed myself from it ... Putting away my tiny violin, recently, I ended up writing the start of three different stories that have made me really excited, so no matter what happens with the competition, I can't wait to work on them more. Each story beginning was written over a few days in July, and I just had the best time. Goodness, I would love to win (or even come runner up) as this competition would change my life ... but I heard that literally tens of thousands of people entered, so I am also realistic about my chances. The nice thing is knowing that no matter what happens, I am proud of my three entries and know I did my best - that's all you can really do, isn't it?

I think that's everything that's happened over the last 2.5 years (in a nutshell), so I suppose all that's left to do is talk about what happens next. Personally, I plan on living life to the fullest, and writing wise, I plan on writing, but with no pressure or panic - I've done too much of that over the last ten years, so now I'd just like to chill out a bit and live more mindfully and in the moment. 

Here's to life as an open book. 

Until next time,

Cara x