The Balancing Act

This picture has nothing to do with the post - I
just suddenly decided I wanted a picture
here ... enjoy.

Forgive me whilst I try to come to terms with the fact that a month and a day has passed since my last post. These entries are for no-one but me - a diary in which I can look back over everything that has happened in my relatively short writing journey. I am very different now to the girl who started this blog back in November 2014, well over three years ago. Over time, I have drifted from my little piece of the internet as I felt like my posts were starting to merge into one another with no real news to report - the gaps between posts becoming wider and wider until they were gaping chasms. One constant through the years is that I love writing. Four and a half years ago when I first put pen to paper (more like fingers to keyboard), I knew exactly what I wanted to do for the rest of my life and during all the highs and lows, that has never changed - what has though is my approach to the journey I have ahead of me. One thing that appears to have remained the same is my unparalled ability to waffle - I haven't even got to the point of this post yet but somehow I have already written a rather meaty paragraph. I shall try to keep the rest of this post brief.

Since my last post the emotions I have experienced are overwhelmed (is that even an emotion?!) followed by deflated then hopeful and lastly, excited - that is how I feel right now as I send this post into the ether. A lot has happened in my bookish world. I still have a long way to go but for the first time, I actually feel like the path I am on is the right one. I have made many mistakes in my short writing life but now I realise that I needed to make them as I most certainly wouldn't be in my current situation without them.

The day I self-published my book, 'CURING MY INCURABLE ECZEMA' was the day I put up my last blog post and I can honestly say I was not prepared for the support and love I received. I was blown away. The book currently has SIX five star reviews on Amazon and Goodreads which so far remains unblemished by a lower rating. I mean, people told me leading up to publication that they couldn't wait to buy it but I never expected they actually would. I wrote this book for me - a way to finally be able to move on from those two years of mental and physical pain and I was not only able to do just that, but I also had a book I had written that I was immensely proud of. Now, I have my journey in one place and that feels wonderful. I have to say it's been a little surreal seeing people post pictures of it on places like Instagram and Facebook - amazing, of course, just a little mad. About ten days after publication though, I started to feel slightly flat. My life had been the book for over two months, a period of my life where I completely burrowed away from the world in order get it done and with that, and the most incredible reaction upon publishing it, when it all died down, I felt like I had lost that spark. I missed being desperately consumed by a project and so in mid January, I decided to re-evaluate my goals - work out exactly what I should do next and when I had written down everything I knew I needed to do, I found hope was slowly trickling back into me. It's funny, but I remember whilst walking to work on one of those very flat days, asking for guidance, and I got it - a voice in my head telling me exactly what I needed to do. It told me that the first thing was to change all the covers for my 'WEIGHTING TO LIVE' series. If you have read my blog before then you will know this is an ongoing saga in my life but for the first time, I have been able to look on the situation objectively and have realised that I need to get them done professionally. I am currently saving up and should have enough to do it next month as they are certainly not cheap. I am also working on a couple of other things relating to the series but as it's still (very) early days, I will keep all that to myself, for now.

After deciding on what had to be done with that particular series, I knew the time had come to start working on the draft of a novel that has been part of my writing journey from the very beginning, and something I have blogged about many times before. Last week, I started reading through said draft, which I coincidentally finished today. I haven't been writing long enough to say this with any kind of real experience but there is truly no feeling more wonderful than reading through a draft of a book you have written which shows real promise and makes you more excited than you have ever been. I have been working on this particular world and characters on and off for a long time now and it has gone through many changes but I feel like now is finally the right time to finish it and make it a real book. This June will mark five years since I started working on it and I plan for it to be the last. I have not given myself any deadline but the book will be my primary focus.

I'll also be doing little bits and pieces of unobtrusive marketing for 'CURING MY INCURABLE ECZEMA' as I think I should - it would be daft not to. Lastly, I have just signed a contract for something rather exciting which I will share with you when I feel like the time is right. I should really be shouting it from the rooftops but until I feel like it's safe to do so, I shall keep shtum. The fabulous thing about it is that even if it doesn't work out, it's still a very exciting thing to happen in the first place - ooo cryptic...

So we currently stand at four different book projects that I am currently working on, which will be done whilst in full time employment. What I need to achieve with such limited time is daunting and scary but it is also exciting knowing that every day I am working towards a career I desperately want. I have told all my friends that I am in hibernation mode for the foreseeable future so I literally have nothing to do but work on reaching my goals.

Oh my goodness, this really was a long post. I genuinely didn't realise when I sat down to write this that I'd have much to say ... I was mistaken.

I shall not make any promises as to when I might be back, dear writing diary friend, but I will return at some point and I think I have given you quite enough to be going with for a little while at least...

Until next time,
Cara x