Facing my fears

I am going to keep this short(ish). I just wanted to do a little writing/life update...

Towards the beginning of May, I received my third and final round of edits from my editor Stephanie for EVERY TRICH IN THE BOOK, which I handed back four days later and since then, I have been working mostly on my WEIGHTING TO LIVE series. I have read through each book a few times and made small edits whilst working on acknowledgements, dedications, doing some cover research, planning and writing a new author bio, which will go up once I get it approved by my editor.

I have also changed my author photo (...we'll pretend it wasn't taken over ten years ago). I wasn't planning on changing it but a while ago, Trigger (my book publisher) asked me to send them a handful of photos and this is the one they chose and after seeing it again, I realised I wanted to use it too. Even though I have gone through quite dramatic changes physically in the time since it was taken, I don't feel like I differ *too* much from the girl in the photo - that, or I'm simply being delusional.

Trigger also made me this beautiful banner to use for my Twitter account which I absolutely love and am mildly obsessed with the blonde against the red hair. In Twitter related news, I have been doing my best to Tweet more regularly and am really enjoying it. I'm certainly not prolific, but at least I am tweeting more than once a year.

Lastly, I have been doing a lot of thinking recently about the novel I have been banging on about since the dawn of time. I have talked about it a lot on this blog but if you weren't aware, in a nutshell, I have written two drafts of a novel - the first nearly five years ago and the other, well over a year ago. My initial plan was to work with the two drafts I already have but after some soul searching, the answer was blindingly obvious, which I decided to ignore for a while as it would mean a HECK of a lot of work but after hearing that V.E. Schwab had to rewrite Vengful (the sequel to Vicious which is out this autumn), I just knew I had to face my fears and admit that I too need to rewrite the whole thing. The story and characters have been in my life for well over five years but to be perfectly honest, I don't think I have been ready to write this book, until now. In that time I have not only developed as a writer, but know exactly what I want to do with it and now have (limited) experience on my side. The earliest version of it was the first draft I ever wrote of anything and was written whilst being very ill. The second attempt was made during a very hard time for me mentally and in writing it for a third time, I hope I can make it everything it truly deserves to be. Call me corny but I believe this is the book (series) I am meant to write, so I want to do it justice. I will be reading through it when WEIGHTING TO LIVE is completely finished then see how I'm feeling about it then. Who knows, I might decide against it and just work with what I already have but in my heart of hearts, I know what I need to do.

...Talking of V.E. Schwab, I received some very special post recently in the form of the Forbidden Planet Signed Collectors Edition of VICIOUS. I read Vicious a few years ago and absolutely adored it and once I finish my current book (THE THORN BIRDS by Colleen McCullough), I think it's about time for a reread.

Before this post turns from 'short' to long, I will bring it to a close ... so until next time,
Cara x

Playing Catch-Up

You know, I've really missed blogging so it makes me immensely happy to be able to write another post for you today. I don't really know who 'you' actually is as due to my hilarious lack of marketing, my little piece of the internet has remained a mere ghost - so really the you is indeed me. This is both my blog and personal writing journal and in the gaps where I haven't been able to update these neglected pages, I have felt at times like I've left a piece of me behind.

In my last post I mentioned that I had just handed in my edits for something very exciting and as I still haven't received any notes or the all-clear that I'm finished, I have been left with unexpected time where I haven't wanted to get stuck into to another writing project for fear I'd quickly have to break off so instead, I've been making the most of it by reading all the the books that have been gathering dust on my bookshelf. I think I have said this before but having unread books in my possession makes me feel immensely uncomfortable. I am one of those people who gets pleasure from putting a newly read book onto a shelf ... yes, I lead a very sheltered life.

Since my last post I have read four books, although I will only be discussing three of them because I don't want to say anything negative about another writer. What made it disappointing was the fact that the book in question was a new release from an author whom I usually love - so let's pretend that didn't happen and move onto the books I actually want to talk about...

The Making of Gone with the Wind by Steve Wilson

Straight after reading the actual Gone with the Wind, as I wasn't ready to leave war-torn Georgia yet, I picked up this beauty which is an in-depth behind the scenes look into one of the greatest films of all time. Made up of letters, photos and trivia, the book is an utter delight and like opium for the Gone with the Wind addicted. It gives an insight into 'The Making of Gone with the Wind' before, during and after filming with photos and art that will take your breath away. A book that's just as beautiful with or without its lovely wrapper (may I present the photographic evidence for your inspection). A MUST read for fans and film-lovers alike.

It is available here (UK) and here (US).

Big Magic by Elizabeth Gilbert

From page 8, when Elizabeth writes the line ‘The universe buries strange jewels deep within us all, and then stands back to see if we can find them', I was hooked. A small but mighty book that will truly make you believe there is magic out there and inspiration is this living, breathing thing. What struck me the most was how much it resonated with me. I sometimes find myself detached from these creative ‘self-help’ books but I found myself agreeing with so much of what she said. She tells personal stories of people she has met in her life which highlight the 'big magic' she believes so strongly in. Her writing style is quirky and humorous and I can't wait to read more of her books in the future.

It is available here (UK) and here (US).

Writers' & Artists Guide to How to Write by Harry Bingham

A book I decided to buy on Amazon recently for the simple reason that I felt I should - I thought it would be a good idea to have more of a technical book on writing in my possession. This book is a guide for authors on the ins and outs of writing, especially with the intention of writing for publication. I have a confession to make: as a rule, I really don't like these kind of books. It's not because I believe they are beneath me, certainly not, and they are currently so far above me that I am somewhere close to the earth's core. It's more that I think these books take away from the fact that writing is first and foremost a creative pursuit and to have all these rules, stems the flow of inspiration. I think it's what stopped me from admitting to myself that I wanted to be a writer for so long - the feeling that it was only meant for a select few and not open to anyone who simply had an imagination and a burning desire to write. This one though is pretty good, although I’m not going to lie to you all and say my back was not putteth uppetth when, in the introduction, he wrote this corker of a line:

'[of his own fiction] it stands at the fancier end of commercial: the sort of thing that intelligent people could read on the beach without having to hide the cover in embarrassment.'

I know I said I wouldn't say anything negative about a writer, but if you are going to write a line like that then you've only got yourself to blame, dear Harry.

Anyway, enough of that, this book is a solid place to start if you are looking for a general 'how-to' writing manual. It is well laid out and at the end of each chapter, there is a summary of what has been discussed over the previous pages (which I might have been guilty of skipping to at certain chapters). At the start of each chapter are quotes from well-respected (and some, dare I say it, pretentious) authors offering valuable insight into various aspects of writing. I know I should really utter 'the craft'  at some point in this post but to do that would give me a stomach ache. To be frank, most of the book is common sense with one 'helpful' tip not to write boring prose ... hmm. Ok, I've realised this sounds like a pretty negative review. I don't mean it to, but it's very hard for me not to say something and pretend, through a fear of being shunned from a world I desperately want to remain a part of. After saying all that, I still enjoyed reading it and Harry has put a lot of thought into it. There, something positive.

It is available here (UK) and here (US).


So there you have it. My editor has just told me she will be sending all her notes/edits she has within the next couple of days so until then, you shall finding me reading, naturally.

Until next time,
Cara x

Gone with the Wind took my breath away

No, your eyes do not deceive you, this is indeed a new blog post a mere week since my last. The reason being that I just had to write down my thoughts before I forgot exactly why Gone with the Wind is my favourite book of all time.

That's quite a big statement to make, I know, but in my mind, there is no contest. I read it over a few months and finished this morning. It took me so long as for the most part, I was only able to pick it up in those precious spare moments where I was able to dive head first into another world. Until the beginning of this week I had only read two thirds of the book, but after handing in my edits for the very secret, very exciting project, I was left with some rare spare time and decided to take that opportunity to discover exactly what Scarlett O'Hara did next... granted, I had already watched the film many times, which I adore, but to fill in the gaps that the film couldn’t possibly cover and to understand more about such complex and fascinating characters was an utter joy.

Going into it, even though I knew the film so well, I was (to be perfectly honest) a little anxious that I wouldn't understand a lot of what was going on as it centres on a piece of American history that I know very little about. I was daunted by the size too and worried that I'd find it boring, but it was anything but and turned out to be the most engaging story I have ever had the pleasure to follow. What surprised me the most was that one of the parts I loved reading about the most was the very subject matter which I was initially nervous to read; The Civil War and subsequent Reconstruction. Learning how various characters dealt with the fallout, with some trapped in a past that would never return, was both haunting and so beautifully written. The lives of so many, changed irrevocably with the life they once knew, gone forever. Usually, I get very tired with unnecessary detail but in Gone with the Wind, it's those elements which really make the book come to life. The depiction of Tara especially made me feel as if I was really there, among the fields of cotton and bright red soil, and it was unlike anything I’ve ever read before. Never dull, but necessary and vital.

Now onto the characters. Our 'heroine' Scarlett O'Hara does unspeakable, immoral things that don't bear thinking about and yet, I followed her journey voraciously and almost willed her to succeed against the odds - and let's not even get started on Rhett, with a past as black as his fine moustache. Hands down my favourite part of the book is the fiery, witty exchanges between the pair. The greatest love story between two people who are truly meant to be together. 

I think I will leave it there as to tell you anything else would be to spoil something you need to experience for yourself.

I haven't seen the film for quite a few years now and I am very excited to rewatch it tomorrow with new eyes. In the morning, as a kind of warm up, I cannot wait to get stuck in to this beauty: The Making of Gone with the Wind.

To buy the rather fabulous version of Gone with the Wind pictured above, click here and to buy The Making of Gone with the Wind, click here.

Until next time,
Cara x

The Balancing Act

This picture has nothing to do with the post - I
just suddenly decided I wanted a picture
here ... enjoy.

Forgive me whilst I try to come to terms with the fact that a month and a day has passed since my last post. These entries are for no-one but me - a diary in which I can look back over everything that has happened in my relatively short writing journey. I am very different now to the girl who started this blog back in November 2014, well over three years ago. Over time, I have drifted from my little piece of the internet as I felt like my posts were starting to merge into one another with no real news to report - the gaps between posts becoming wider and wider until they were gaping chasms. One constant through the years is that I love writing. Four and a half years ago when I first put pen to paper (more like fingers to keyboard), I knew exactly what I wanted to do for the rest of my life and during all the highs and lows, that has never changed - what has though is my approach to the journey I have ahead of me. One thing that appears to have remained the same is my unparalled ability to waffle - I haven't even got to the point of this post yet but somehow I have already written a rather meaty paragraph. I shall try to keep the rest of this post brief.

Since my last post the emotions I have experienced are overwhelmed (is that even an emotion?!) followed by deflated then hopeful and lastly, excited - that is how I feel right now as I send this post into the ether. A lot has happened in my bookish world. I still have a long way to go but for the first time, I actually feel like the path I am on is the right one. I have made many mistakes in my short writing life but now I realise that I needed to make them as I most certainly wouldn't be in my current situation without them.

The day I self-published my book, 'CURING MY INCURABLE ECZEMA' was the day I put up my last blog post and I can honestly say I was not prepared for the support and love I received. I was blown away. The book currently has SIX five star reviews on Amazon and Goodreads which so far remains unblemished by a lower rating. I mean, people told me leading up to publication that they couldn't wait to buy it but I never expected they actually would. I wrote this book for me - a way to finally be able to move on from those two years of mental and physical pain and I was not only able to do just that, but I also had a book I had written that I was immensely proud of. Now, I have my journey in one place and that feels wonderful. I have to say it's been a little surreal seeing people post pictures of it on places like Instagram and Facebook - amazing, of course, just a little mad. About ten days after publication though, I started to feel slightly flat. My life had been the book for over two months, a period of my life where I completely burrowed away from the world in order get it done and with that, and the most incredible reaction upon publishing it, when it all died down, I felt like I had lost that spark. I missed being desperately consumed by a project and so in mid January, I decided to re-evaluate my goals - work out exactly what I should do next and when I had written down everything I knew I needed to do, I found hope was slowly trickling back into me. It's funny, but I remember whilst walking to work on one of those very flat days, asking for guidance, and I got it - a voice in my head telling me exactly what I needed to do. It told me that the first thing was to change all the covers for my 'WEIGHTING TO LIVE' series. If you have read my blog before then you will know this is an ongoing saga in my life but for the first time, I have been able to look on the situation objectively and have realised that I need to get them done professionally. I am currently saving up and should have enough to do it next month as they are certainly not cheap. I am also working on a couple of other things relating to the series but as it's still (very) early days, I will keep all that to myself, for now.

After deciding on what had to be done with that particular series, I knew the time had come to start working on the draft of a novel that has been part of my writing journey from the very beginning, and something I have blogged about many times before. Last week, I started reading through said draft, which I coincidentally finished today. I haven't been writing long enough to say this with any kind of real experience but there is truly no feeling more wonderful than reading through a draft of a book you have written which shows real promise and makes you more excited than you have ever been. I have been working on this particular world and characters on and off for a long time now and it has gone through many changes but I feel like now is finally the right time to finish it and make it a real book. This June will mark five years since I started working on it and I plan for it to be the last. I have not given myself any deadline but the book will be my primary focus.

I'll also be doing little bits and pieces of unobtrusive marketing for 'CURING MY INCURABLE ECZEMA' as I think I should - it would be daft not to. Lastly, I have just signed a contract for something rather exciting which I will share with you when I feel like the time is right. I should really be shouting it from the rooftops but until I feel like it's safe to do so, I shall keep shtum. The fabulous thing about it is that even if it doesn't work out, it's still a very exciting thing to happen in the first place - ooo cryptic...

So we currently stand at four different book projects that I am currently working on, which will be done whilst in full time employment. What I need to achieve with such limited time is daunting and scary but it is also exciting knowing that every day I am working towards a career I desperately want. I have told all my friends that I am in hibernation mode for the foreseeable future so I literally have nothing to do but work on reaching my goals.

Oh my goodness, this really was a long post. I genuinely didn't realise when I sat down to write this that I'd have much to say ... I was mistaken.

I shall not make any promises as to when I might be back, dear writing diary friend, but I will return at some point and I think I have given you quite enough to be going with for a little while at least...

Until next time,
Cara x

"Because I'm worth it"

This is going up a day earlier than planned as I'm doing something shocking: I'm going out, and to a place that isn't my local supermarket - I'm even getting on a bus and everything. I say it's shocking because my life has been hermit chic for quite a few months now and my days on the whole follow the same pattern: up at 6 a.m. - eat breakfast and work for an hour or two, followed by a power walk that ends in a trip to Sainsbury's before I sit for the rest of the day in front of my laptop. Living the dream basically. I should probably be lamenting the fact I haven't got much of a life at the moment, especially for a woman in her late twenties, but really, more than anything, I just want to get on with the hope that if I keep working hard and don't give up, maybe my life might be a bit different someday soon.

After realising last week that I was going to do book marketing MY way - less businesslike and more creative - I've been very busy. One of the first things I did last weekend (I think it was then anyway) was put up the prices of all my books on Amazon. WEIGHTING TO LIVE went from 99p to £2.39 for the eBook (here) and from £5.99 to £6.99 for the paperback (here). The eBooks for CHANGES and SIXTEEN MONTHS went from 99p to £1.99 and the paperback for CHANGES (here) went from £2.99 to £3.99. There were many reasons for the price increase, one being that potential buyers might have thought a lower price meant my books weren't as good but mostly, I did it because I'm proud of my little book series and a lot of time and love has gone into them and I think they deserve to be a higher price. Surprisingly, with the relatively small amount of marketing I've done so far, I've had a few sales, so it hasn't seem to put anyone off.

I also did something a little cheeky. On my Pinterest page under my real name, one of my boards (called FASHION LUST) has over three thousands followers (no idea why though) and so I decided to pin one of my book trailers for WEIGHTING TO LIVE to the board as I felt the move wasn't IN YOUR FACE marketing and could easily get lost, but there might be a chance that at least one of those three thousand people might watch the video and want to find out more. On Monday, I also posted one of the quote pictures I talked about in my last blog post and plan to put one up on Twitter and Pinterest most days until they run out. I also set up a brand new Facebook page for Lily Divine as for reasons unknown to me, it's apparently imperative I have one and finally, much to my abject shock, I've continued to tweet and really enjoyed myself.

On Tuesday afternoon, I decided to tackle a few books I really wanted to read and after finishing #GirlBoss, I moved onto Writers' & Artists' Yearbook 2017 (here) and had the most wonderful time reading it. With every page I devoured, the more excited I felt about writing. If you are an aspiring writer like me, the book is a MUST - not only is it a directory for all the publishers, literary agents etc out there, but it also includes many wonderful articles from established writers and industry professionals that I found so helpful and gave me a lot of insight. It's the kind of book I'll continue to dip in and out of in the future because I learned so much. Feeling inspired yesterday, I then reread a few of my favourite bits from Stephen King's On Writing which I adore before I had a massive clearout. A perfect couple of days basically.

And so here we are, on a chilly Thursday morning at the start of a new month with the hint of spring in the air and a faint hope that things will work out ok.

Until next time. 

Winging it

There is something ever so disconcerting when you realise it's already been two weeks since your last post but only feels like a handful of days. It's been a busy few weeks. The first week was taken up mostly with work on other projects that needed to get done but I still managed to do bits and bobs with regards to book marketing and definitely didn't waste any time. Amongst other things, I worked on and finished some promotional pictures which I'm going to use on social media that have some catchy/memorable quotes from my books. Here are some examples:

It wasn't until the morning of Monday 20th February however when the planets finally aligned and I was ready to get my books out there and by the afternoon, I'd done so much research and sorting that I even tweeted:

Are you more shocked by the statement above or the fact that I tweeted something? Yes, I have been tweeting this week and it feels good. Even though I wanted to use Twitter again for marketing purposes, to be perfectly honest, I've enjoyed using it again for me and for now, I'm going to do it just for me and see what happens, because sometimes these things need to grow in their own time.

Apart from that, I bought the Writers' & Artists' Yearbook 2017 which I plan on reading after I've finished #Girlboss and I have been doing LOTS of research on book marketing. On Monday I binge watched The Creative Penn's YouTube videos *here* (which I've already discussed before and am a fan) and also found interviews with top self-published authors on how they sold so many books. It's funny, but after a while, the more videos I watched, the more I realised that their methods, which worked wonderfully for them, just aren't right for me. For a start, most of the people I watched started marketing years and years ago when there was MUCH less competition and the likelihood of being seen was easier. One of the authors said 'Something had to be done when I was only selling six books a day' and all I was thinking was Girl, you sold six books a day without marketing?!!

Midway through the week I did some thinking and feel that if I want to really succeed in this already oversaturated market, I've got to come up with a different way of going about things - a new angle. The other reason for wanting to do things a little differently is that every author I watched treated their books like a business and not as a passion. I know that sounds dreadfully simple of me and I know I've talked about this before but it really does bother me that I've got to do all this stuff completely unrelated to writing and books, like build up a mailing list etc, to be successful as a self-published writer. I JUST WANT TO WRITE! I want to write when I want to write and not feel under pressure that I've got to produce X amount of books per year to keep readers happy and buying. I hasten to add I am not having a go at these authors - I like them and their books very much and totally respect what they are doing but I just want to be me. I want to write because I love it and sell books because people like them. I don't want it to be this clinical business where I start to resent writing.

As the title suggests, I'm going to wing it somewhat - try stuff out to see what sticks and probably fail along the way - but most importantly, keep a firm grip on three important, but easily forgotten, words: DON'T. GIVE. UP. I believe in my little book series and think they have an audience out there, I just need to find them. Easy...

Until next time.

Some McNaught to break up the monotony ... along with some word counts, naturally

*An arty shot I took a while ago of some Judith McNaught
books resting on a red velvet sofa that I don't own.
YOLO.*

Another two weeks have passed and I come bearing gifts in the form of more word counts and the exciting news that I've been reading Judith McNaught again. I have had an urge to revisit one of her books for a while now and even though I should be branching out and reaching for something new to expand my literary knowledge, I have been so busy every day that the last thing I want to do is read something where I've got to think - and let's be real, I just want to read about some virile men (Judith's word, not mine - FABULOUS!). I picked up Whitney My Love the weekend before last, the first book of hers that I ever read, and I had completely forgotten what an epic love story it is. After that, I moved onto another one of hers, Until You, and had a whale of a time. I'm starting another today to kick start the weekend, Almost Heaven, which will be me later on AND I CAN'T WAIT! After all that excitement, let's bring this post down to earth with a thud and move onto my word counts for the last couple of weeks:

Monday 21st November 2016
1,101 words. Oh that was great. As is my way, I started off a little nervous that whatever I wrote would be a disaster but after about 5 minutes or so, I was into it again and very happy with what I produced. There is nothing more wonderful sometimes than the feeling of pure excitement you get from writing something you are passionate about.

Tuesday 22nd November 2016
1,146 words.

Wednesday 23rd November 2016
1,124 words. It was so damn dramatic this morning, I can't take it. Fabulous.

Thursday 24th November 2016
1,000 words. I was a little out of it this morning but I pushed myself to keep going and I'm happy I did.

Friday 25th November 2016
0 words. I really didn't feel like it. I had a big day yesterday personally and I think it all caught up with me this morning.

Monday 28th November 2016
1,260 words. Like always, if I leave writing for a few days I am left with the ridiculous fear that when I return to it again, it will be a catastrophe but as per, it was fine and I actually loved it. Regardless of that, I'm a little anxious for it to be done. This draft been going on for a long time now and I'd like to move on. I think I need a break from the routine before I start editing it in a few months time.

Tuesday 29th November 2016
1,223 words. I love when I stop writing at a place that I can't wait to return to the following day. Even though I am anxious to finish, that doesn't mean I'm not still loving it.

Wednesday 30th November 2016
1,247 words. For about twenty minutes I had only written about 150 words and assumed it was going to be a low word count day, which I was totally cool with, but suddenly, by the time my hour was up, I had written so much.

Thursday 1st December 2016
979 words. After feeling like I was writing constantly over the hour, I *only* wrote just under a thousand words. I know that is still very good and I'm happy with that, I just felt like it was going to be much higher than that ... I feel I should add in a sheepish manner that I *may* have had moments where I was pretty distracted (oh, hey Instagram!) so I don't know what I'm talking about, ignore everything I have just said.

Friday 2nd December 2016
1,024 words.

I thought I'd be finished by the end of November but here we are, December 2nd and the damn thing is still going strong and now over 100,000 words long (100,400 to be exact). I am speechless, excited, fearful of the editing process and many other wildly varied emotions but I truly hope I can turn it into something real - something to be proud of. More than anything I have ever done in my life, I want this to succeed, I believe it can .... one day, about a million years from now perhaps.

And remind me, what's book marketing?

Until next time.

Celebrating the return of an old favourite (obsession)

Judith McNaught is back in my life and I couldn't be happier about it. After working so much recently, I decided to treat myself to a couple of books that I have wanted for ages! One is a book I have already read (and loved AND blogged about here) and the other is a JUDITH MCNAUGHT BOOK I HAVEN'T READ!

I repeat, IT'S A JUDITH MCNAUGHT BOOK I HAVEN'T READ!!

I think it's time to see the books, don't you?

I bought them both from The Book Depository here. What I love about the website is that they offer free worldwide delivery regardless of how much you spend ... and the fact you are able to get different editions of the same book that you might not be able to find so easily is pretty great too.

I went for the US 10th anniversary edition of On Writing : A Memoir of the Craft (link to buy it here) because ... cover.

The price is worth it for the spine alone.

I just love the design of the Double Standards cover - it definitely doesn't scream 'I'M A ROMANCE NOVEL!' Buy it here.

Not a bare torso in sight!

Reading is such a pleasure and something I haven't been able to do for a while (I still have no idea what has become of the ridiculously hot couple in their bloody cabin that I have been reading about since LAST YEAR) but I am pushing myself to make the time each day to read. If I want to be a writer, I think it's important I read as much as possible. Basically this is short for LET ME READ THE MCNAUGHT, PRONTO.

Until next time.

A beautiful pastel pink and green book haul from the unlikeliest of places...

I went a little wild on a shopping spree last week and spent a total of ... FIVE POUNDS (somebody stop me). What is this shop of wonders, I hear you ask? Poundland. Yes, I went into Poundland and came out obsessed. Such is life, I only went in for one thing...

In the midst of my new obsession, I somehow inadvertently made sure to keep my purchases colour coordinated. I am truly in love with the colours together and instead of putting them away, I have kept them next to me in a pile and spent my time picking them up, stroking them, then putting them down again and getting withdrawals. Let's take a closer look at the books now, shall we?

I can honestly say I never thought I would ever utter a sentence that included the words 'bought a book by Dannii Minogue' ... but how could I leave this ONE POUND book behind when it has a shiny pink title!?!? I have flicked through it and from what I have seen so far, it's jam-packed with glamorous things that my real life is definitely lacking at present. It's a bit of fabulous fun with a pink colour combo which dreams are made of. The other purchase is the cookery book Second Helpings of Roast Chicken by Simon Hopkinson and judging by the cover of this book alone, which I want to eat, I think it's safe to say that counts as a successful cookery book buy regardless of what is in the damn thing. Apparently it's a sequel to Roast Chicken and Other Stories that was voted the most useful cookbook of all time. I have just checked on Amazon and they are selling it, brand new, for £13.48 ... so that pretty much equates to the greatest moment of my life.

I also bought the ONE POUND dvd of Bridget Jones: The Edge of Reason because HELLO, it's Bridget Jones.

Finally, these two loves of my life are something that I can't wait to use. My mum bought the larger one a couple of weeks ago and from the moment I saw it, I knew I had to have it. Apart from everything to do with my self-published books, I have been working on a lot of other things so to have an organiser of sorts which keeps everything together but at the same time, separates it all, is a must-have purchase. I also bought the small one because the large one would get lonely. I was doing the right thing.

I should also mention that the books are gently resting on wrapping paper I bought from Poundland which I want to plaster my walls in.

My plan after writing this post is to put the damn books away and move on with my life before I marry a notepad.

Until next time.

If you see a suspicious-looking girl loitering around the countryside...

...it's probably me.

I have been doing very well. I look like my old self and feel better than I have ever done as I've learnt so much through this crazy 2+ years. I am still not doing much (ABSOLUTELY NOTHING) with regards to writing and reading but I think it's more important that I live while I can - take every day as it comes. I apologise that this blog (and my twitter tbh) is me basically saying repeatedly 'I feel well! I'm so happy' but it's how I feel. Your health is the most precious thing you hold and to have it, is everything. Life can be bogged down with so many unnecessary dramas and before this, I never took the time to realise just how important it really is.

– END OF MONOLOGUE –

Yesterday I saw my best friend after nearly 26 months. It was fabulous and strange and lovely. All week in the UK the rain had pretty much taken centre stage but yesterday, the entire day was sunny and warm. We talked and laughed and now he has gone, I am so confused it actually happened. I thought I would also add a little photo of a couple of presents he gave me - one being, quite possibly, the most beautiful book I have ever seen and a DVD of a documentary I have wanted to watch FOR. EVER. A larger group of my friends are coming to visit me in a couple of weeks and I cannot wait. Feeling lucky basically.

You can buy the book GRACE on Amazon (here).

I am still sticking to eating healthily and exercising and I really do feel great. I now get excited about spinach.

That's all for today as I'm now off to have a long walk before a dinner that involves, you guessed it, spinach. SCORE! Oh what a fun blog post this has been...

Until next time.

Just a book review about Go Set a Watchman by Harper Lee

My blog is slowly turning into a shrine for Judith McNaught and psychological thrillers so to rectify this, here is a serious review about a little-known book called Go Set a Watchman by Harper Lee.

To be perfectly frank, the thought of reading this book didn't fill me will joy. Don't get me wrong, I ADORED To Kill a Mockingbird but the idea of an iffy sequel randomly appearing after one million years, AND just after Harper Lee's sister/carer had died, worried me, but with a reluctant heart, I picked up Go Set a Watchman yesterday and I am so glad I did. Three words that describe this book in my opinion would be wonderful, heartbreaking and disappointing.

Go Set a Watchman follows twenty-six-year-old Scout (now known by her real name Jean Louise) on her annual visit home to Maycomb. I read To Kill a Mockingbird well over a year ago (for the first time ever. I know, shame on me) and had forgotten quite a lot until I started reading Watchman and all the memories came flooding back. I remembered how much I loved the subtle current of humour and charm that thankfully runs through Go Set a Watchman too and relished the wonderful flashbacks to Scout as an adolescent that take up practically the first half of the book.

The book does not have much of a plot, it's more of a character exploration and whether I found a person's actions right or wrong, they were all rich and beautifully crafted, coming alive on the page. I found Aunt Alexandra and her brother Jack to be the real gems of the piece. Here is one of my favourite quotes from Go Set a Watchman that shows off Harper Lee's subtle sense of humour and the character perfectly:


'When Alexandra went to finishing school, self-doubt could not be found in any textbook, so she knew not it's meaning...'

p.28 Go Set a Watchman


Now onto our protagonist. I found grown-up Scout/Jean Louise to be an absolute joy - still the same witty, boyish, headstrong girl we know and love from Mockingbird. She will never bend to anyone's will with a wonderful eloquent stubbornness that I adored. She sticks to her guns for what she believes is right. There are not enough Scouts in the world.

When we find out about Atticus, the reader feels betrayed like Scout and we can share in her anger and disillusionment at a man in her eyes (and ours) who could do no wrong, until now. The one downside for me, like most people, was Atticus. I just can't get my head around it. For everything that Atticus represented, and the powerful lines about humanity in To Kill a Mockingbird, Go Set a Watchman shouldn't have been published to preserve this character's legacy.

To anyone thinking of reading it but are put off by what you have heard in the media and other reviews, just read it. It's a beautifully written, powerful book and incredible that it was only a first draft (obviously tarted up a fair bit, but still). It has Harper Lee 'written' all over it and I just wish she had published more novels in her lifetime.

You can buy Go Set a Watchman on Amazon (here).

Now to restore the balance of my blog, I am off to reread a Judith McNaught ... and you think I'm joking.

Until next time.

Get Started in Writing Young Adult Fiction by Juliet Mushens

There is a fabulous agent with a penchant for leopard print and vintage-inspired dresses called Juliet Mushens. If that is not fabulous enough, she has just released a book on how to write YA fiction.

*Book contemplates life on a park bench*

If I could choose my own agent (this is of course as fictional as the YA novel I haven't written yet), I would want to be represented by Juliet as not only is she successful at what she does, more importantly (to me at least), she comes across as an approachable, likable woman. I have been following her for a while now on twitter and she's great - you can too by clicking here.

Her debut book Get Started in Writing Young Adult Fiction takes you from how to begin your novel right through to submitting it to agents and an overview of the publishing process. The book is crammed with writing exercises and ideas to help you get into gear and makes the daunting task of writing a book a little less scary. I especially loved the quotes and trivia from well-loved creatives scattered along the way.

I am about to start working again on a novel I wrote last year and even though it is not YA per se, it is close enough for this book to benefit me and it definitely answered a lot of questions I had and gave me a lot to think about when I get to editing. More than anything, what this book did was get me excited about writing and applying some of the tips and tricks Juliet has suggested to make my existing novel something maybe one day she would consider representing herself.

All writers, regardless of genre or type, would find something helpful in this book and you can buy it here.

ALSO, my book WEIGHTING TO LIVE is FREE today on Amazon (UK Link here. US Link here). A subtle plug on a Sunday for you.

Until next time.

My Life In Random

Here is a mishmash of bookish things for you today in no particular order coming from one girl's heat-stricken brain.

Recently, my life has been made up of finishing off working on ALL the books I've already self-published (more on that very soon) and reading. You might or might not know if you have read my blog before that I ADORE finding great books under the 'psychological thriller' bracket but having said that, I've found it hard to find great ones (I talk about it here and recommend a rather good one too).

Between working on my own books, I have been ravenously devouring any book I can get my hands on SO, when I got a generic email from Amazon offering me a free eBook if I joined their newsletter, I JUMPED at the chance. Not only was it free, it was a psychological thriller (YAY) and even better, it was for one of Rachel Abbott's book, Sleep Tight. I have wanted to read her books for ages seeing as she is one of the most successful self-published authors out there - she has sold I think about 1.5 million copies to date.

*Images with kind permission from the author*

My first Rachel Abbott book was not a disappointment and I found Sleep Tight to be clever, tense and ever so gripping with lots of twists and turns right until the very end. After finishing it, I was eager to read more of her work and saw that she was selling her latest book, Stranger Child for only 99p on Amazon (deal just on the Kindle version). Give me a cheap book offer and I'm all over it like a rash and again, the book was a great little read - I maybe didn't enjoy it as much as the first but I still would highly recommend it. If I had one criticism of both of her books it would be that I found the detective and his sidekick (who appear in all her books) to be pretty one-dimensional but really, with these kind of stories, it doesn't matter in the slightest. Joining the self-publishing world only recently myself, it's nice to be in such talented company (and ever so inspirational too). I will definitely be reading her other two books at some point but for now, to be blunt, I can't afford it. I should also quickly mention that you must read Sleep Tight before Stranger Child as even though they are standalone books, a small part of the plot from Sleep Tight is resolved in Stranger Child. You can buy Sleep Tight here & Stranger Child here.

Cover LUST

I mean, LOOK AT IT!
I WANT TO TOUCH YOU AGAIN!
I MISS YOU!

Now onto something baffling. I am going to talk a bit about E. L. James' latest book Grey: Fifty Shades of Grey As Told by Christian (the clue is in the title). When I found out this was going to be released, I reserved it at my local library and incredibly the day after publication, it was available to pick up (oh how I LOVE libraries). My reason for reading it was purely down to curiosity. I am not going to go into how I felt about the book itself but I will say how smitten I am with the cover. When I first saw pictures of it, I wasn't that bothered but seeing it in the flesh is something else entirely.

When I got it, I spent an unhealthy amount of time not only looking at it, but stroking it as if it was some kind of pet. It is now back at the library but I am having major cover withdrawals. I now really want to buy it. Has anyone ever bought a book SOLELY for the cover? What a ridiculously stupid dilemma to be in. The book is what it is and fans of the series will get what they want ... but I have to say that if a man repeatedly called me baby, he would be marched into that blasted red room of pain until the word was never mentioned ever, EVER again.

Until next time (baby - ew).

Into the Darkest Corner

When someone tells me that something is a psychological thriller, I am on it quicker than you can say the word TENSE. I love films, books, TV shows etc that brand themselves in this genre but after so many years, I am always desperately disappointed. I go into them full of hope I will be blown away by the twists and turns and normally, I can't put them down ... until the last 100 pages when everything drags and the disappointment sets in. This inevitable disappointment never phases me though and I am back for my next psychological thriller fix like a fickle child. (I am not going to mention the other books/films TV shows that have disappointed me as even though I am not a fully-fledged writer yet (I hope yet at least) I don't feel comfortable having a go at other writers). So when I heard about the psychological thriller Into the Darkest Corner by Elizabeth Haynes, I was excited for the chance to maybe not be disappointed ... AND I WASN'T!


The blurb:

When young, pretty Catherine Bailey meets Lee Brightman, she can't believe her luck. Gorgeous, charismatic, and a bit mysterious, Lee seems almost too perfect to be true.

But what begins as flattering attention and spontaneous, passionate sex transforms into raging jealousy, and Catherine soon discovers that Lee's dazzling blue eyes and blond good looks hide a dark, violent nature. Disturbed by his increasingly erratic, controlling behavior, she tries to break it off; turning to her friends for support, she's stunned to find they don't believe her. Increasingly isolated and driven into the darkest corner of her world, a desperate Catherine plans a meticulous escape.

Four years later, Lee is behind bars and Catherine—now Cathy—is trying to build a new life in a new city. Though her body has healed, the trauma of the past still haunts her. Then Stuart Richardson, her attractive new neighbor, moves in. Encouraging her to confront her fears, he sparks unexpected hope and the possibility of love and a normal life.

Until the day the phone rings . . . 


Mine and my mother's film mantra is 'When in doubt, watch Sleeping With the Enemy ... again' and this plot reminded me heavily of that so by this point, I was chomping at the bit to get my hands on the book.

The main character of Into the Darkest Corner, Cathy, suffers from severe anxiety and I thought the author did a brilliant job of the thought process that goes behind Cathy's decisions and the way she copes with her, at times, debilitating condition. The book has no chapters but dated segments that alternate between two periods in Cathy's life - four years apart. It is incredible how she changes in that time and it was written in a very subtle way. I spent the entire book in a perpetual state of unease - in a good way. It was very tense, leaving you almost with the feeling you were being watched while you read it. Instead of slowing down, the tension built towards the end and I am sure this tweet I wrote ninety pages before the end, highlights how I was feeling at the time:

I was desperate to know what was going to happen right until the last page.

I will say there were parts I wasn't as keen on such as Cathy's friends. They made me feel sad for my generation, in a 'To have fun we must get as wasted as much as possible', kinda way. Cathy's life before with her friends just seemed desperately empty to me. The other thing I didn't like much was how graphic it was in places but I think regardless of how hard it was to read, it was important to the plot. Neither of these issues took away from it being a brilliant book.

And one last fabulous thing I must mention was that the author wrote the first draft of the book while participating in NaNoWriMo which I did for the first time last year and loved! Anyone reading this, I 100% urge you to try it yourself.

Anyway, I must dash, I'm off to lock my front door again and NEVER DATE MEN EVER AGAIN.

Until next time.

Déjà vu

I have a new superficial book to add to my collection.

Have I read the book approximately 5,000 times? YES

Did I already own a copy of the book? YES

Did I need another copy of the book? NATURALLY

I am talking about Someone to Watch Over Me by Judith McNaught. If you have ever read my blog before, you will definitely already know that I adore her books. For an entire post dedicated to all things McNaught, click here.

My 2 copies of
Someone to Watch Over Me
(old smelly one behind)

As I already owned this book, I shall try to explain why I felt justified in my purchase:

Firstly, I bought my original copy last year from a seller on Amazon and when the book arrived, not only was it scuffed and bent but it had an extremely strong smell of disinfectant on it (FYI - it was listed as 'new'). After hanging the blasted book out a window for two weeks, the smell FINALLY left but every time I have touched it since, I have felt iffy about it.




Secondly, this version matches my copies of Perfect and Paradise 'perfectly'. After seeing my photographic evidence of this >>>>>>>>>> I am sure you'll agree it was money well spent.


– CASE CLOSED –

Flashin' you a lovely bit o' spine

I am still undecided what to do with the old copy - possibly clean my house with it, I don't know. To celebrate my new totally reasonable book purchase, I will reread it for the 5001st time.

Until next time.

McNaughty but nice

For someone who has been promising to write this post for ages now and going on about the author like I have, I thought this would be easy to write. I was wrong. In my head, I had all these grand plans and fabulous things to say but I can't seem to get them out. Bear with me here and I will try my best to make a semblance of sense.

I think one of my problems was wondering where and how to start but then I realised, before anything, I needed to mention something that remains an all-encompassing part of my life: for the last two years I have been unwell. Very unwell. Bad enough to be limited by what I can and can't do and not be able to leave the house much and only then, for short bursts to the library across the road. I feel lucky to say that I will get better but it's a very slow process and all I am left with for now is time. I feel incredibly lucky as well that my mother has looked after and supported her twenty-something daughter through it all.

Apologies for already going on too long, I'll get to the point:

It all began back in late 2013 when I was in the early stages of my illness and remarked to one of my very close friends (let's call her C) that a particular character was very attractive in a book. She said something along the lines of 'You think HE is attractive, have you ever heard of Judith McNaught?'

'No,' I told her.

The copies of Whitney My Love and Almost Heaven that
 my friend sent me. Before reading them, I judged
 both books by their covers.

She then went on to explain that Judith McNaught was a romance novelist and instantly, I told myself that this author wouldn't be my cup of tea (I thought I wasn't a romance novel person due to the fact I had never read one - faulty logic at it's best).  I said to C I would look into her books and forgot about the conversation we had for a while ... and then I got post. C sent me beaten up copies of two of McNaught's historical romances, Whitney My Love and Almost Heaven. Again, I took one look at the covers and decided they were not for me. As far as covers go, they are pretty uninspiring and everything I imagined romance novels to look like so I left reading them for a while until one Sunday night, with nothing to do, I decided to pick up Whitney My Love, just out of curiosity, and only read a few pages...

I can honestly say I have never been sucked into a book so fast, ever.

I loved it instantly. I carried the book around with me, turning the pages faster than I could read them, desperate to know what would happen next. From start to finish it was perfect. After that, and left with an almighty book hangover, I swiftly moved onto the other book my friend had sent me, Almost Heaven thinking This CAN'T be as good as Whitney ... I was mistaken. I adored it. Both books had two of the most compelling stories (love or otherwise) I had ever read. Epic romances with engaging, strong and witty characters.

How sweet is my friend?
A package she sent me containing
CHOCOLATE
AND
Until You and Once and Always

After finishing both books, I went borderline insane down the phone to C and a few months later, she surprised me with another package containing two more of Judith McNaught's historical romances, Something Wonderful and A Kingdom of Dreams (shock horror, I loved them too).  Last Easter, C sent me Judith's last two historical romances, Until You and Once and Always and after devouring and (surprise surprise) loving them, I quickly moved onto her modern romances.

Yes, I loved them too.

My Judith McNaught collection (yes, I do
 have 2 copies of Whitney My Love)

Judith McNaught has the ability to create such immersive stories that have somehow got me through two of the hardest years of my life both emotionally and physically - taking me to another place, allowing me to escape when I was in pain. Her characters feel real, you root for the leads and fall in love with the others too (my favourite character of all-time from any book is called Lucinda Throckmorton-Jones from Almost Heaven; with her umbrella in hand, her occasional appearances made me laugh more than I ever have). The settings are rich in detail, the books are smart and funny and the love stories aren't sickly or corny. I am not very familiar with the romance genre as a whole (only reading a few C has recommended) but just talking about Judith McNaught, it's a shame that a lot of people who think they don't like romance novels will miss out on her work just because she is labelled in that category.

I have so many favourites of her books that it would be silly for me to list them but I would suggest to anyone who has never read her work to start with maybe Paradise (if you are more into modern tales) or Almost Heaven (for a regency/historical setting).

If by some crazy fluke Judith McNaught is reading this post I would like to say thank you, because you have helped a girl get though one of the hardest times of her life.

Until next time.

*Psst!  This weekend my short story CIRCLE is FREE on Amazon.  Click here (UK Link) or here (US Link) or visit any other Amazons around the world to download it NOW!

Very Good Lives

'And so rock bottom became the solid foundation on which I rebuilt my life.'


That is one of my favourite quotes of all-time and comes from the book I am now going to talk about now. VERY GOOD LIVES: THE FRINGE BENEFITS OF FAILURE AND THE IMPORTANCE OF IMAGINATION by J.K. Rowling has just been released and comes from the 2008 commencement speech she gave at Harvard University. I had already watched the speech on YouTube many times but to read it is a totally different experience. You are able to absorb every word and really take it all in. It's beautiful, inspiring and hits home on subjects that need to be talked about. The book is also well laid out, pretty and only takes about 20 minutes to read.

I got my copy from the library but when I can, I will definitely be getting my own because not only is it a fantastic little book, but the sales go to J.K. Rowling's own charity: Lumos which 'works to support the 8 million children in institutions worldwide to regain their right to a family life and to end the institutionalisation of children' and university-wide financial aid at Harvard University.

You can buy the book on Amazon (here).

Until next time.

Teeny tiny book haul!

Last week I bought two books and this morning they arrived so I thought I would share them with you as well. They were a 'Girl, you've done a fair bit of writing in the last few weeks, get something nice' kinda purchase. I don't really buy many books for myself, instead I cling to my local library as if it was life support (budget fun), so when I get the chance to treat myself, they have to be pretty special and I think these two definitely fall into that category.

THE BOOKS!

'I love a good spine me'

Yes, you need three pictures to see the books at all angles..

If the book covers don't give it away (ahem), they are Me Before You by Jojo Moyes and Wuthering Heights by Emily Brontë and both are real favourites of mine. I actually did a mini review of Me Before You (here) so check that out if you want to know more of my thoughts (SPOILER: the book will break your heart).

I'm not sure if Wuthering Heights is my all-time favourite book but it's definitely in the top three for sure (Harry Potter counts as one book, yeah?) and I have wanted my own copy for a long time. I could have gone with one of those clothbound versions or an elaborate copy with fancy gold writing but instead, I went for this relatively plain one in comparison because I am a huge fan of Wordsworth Classics. At £1.99 they are pretty cheap but that doesn't mean you aren't getting an excellent quality item. I am so impressed by the books and to be honest, I actually prefer the simplicity of their designs - I really can't recommend the company enough!

You can buy Wuthering Heights (here) & Me Before You (here).

After that small bit of  literary eye candy, I must get back to editing my short stories and stop staring at the books.

Until next time.

And yet another book review (but it’s a good ’un)

Just as I have uploaded my first book to Kindle Direct Publishing I decided, instead of publicising my own work, to sing the praises of another book instead - but I really couldn't keep this one to myself!

On Friday, just after self-publishing my book with KDP and waiting for it to go live on the site ... then waiting some more for changes to be made - which have now been sorted (*coughs* buy it here), I started reading Me Before You by Jojo Moyes which has instantly become one of my all-time favourite books.

The story is just so beautiful. I don’t want to say much about the plot and spoil anything for you but one thing I must mention is that it makes you think about disability and what a hard time people in wheelchairs have getting from A to B. I also wasn't aware of all the medical issues connected with paralysis.

I loved Lou & Will’s relationship and oddly, I found similarities between Lou and the main character from my book Weighting To Live - two women dealing with challenging situations but somehow finding themselves in the process.

So apart from MANGLING MY HEART, this book was funny and compelling and I WANT TO READ IT AGAIN NOW!

*And breathe*

– WAIT –

Literally as I am writing this post, I checked Jojo Moyes' blog and it says there is A SEQUEL TO ME BEFORE YOU COMING OUT THIS SEPTEMBER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

You can buy Me Before You (here).

Until next time.

The Book Thief Stole My Heart

I am so close to the finishing line with my book now that I can taste it (it tastes like Hobnobs ... well I had them today).  At present I am working with my editor (Mother) to make it is as polished as it can be and it's amazing what a fresh pair of eyes can see. While working like a madman during the day editing my book so I can self-publish it ASAP, by night, I have been reading 50 pages a day of The Book Thief by Markus Zusak and finished it earlier on today.

I went into this book not really relishing the idea because:

1. It's relatively big (I have an irrational fear of big books - until I start reading them then my life is over until I have finished said book).
2. I knew it would probably make me cry.
3. I knew I would probably cry until my heart had no more tears to give.
4. Then, when I had finished crying, I would cry again.
5. My eyes would be sore from all the crying and I would cry again because of it.
6. It's about the war and the (many, many) evils of Hitler. As I am getting older, I am finding it harder to read about what happened to all those poor people who couldn't just be themselves.
7. Everyone loves this book and I am always wary of anything overhyped as I am usually disappointed.

Well, I loved it. I really did. I loved the language. I loved (ADORED) the characters. I loved the subtle humour that came through. I loved that it was narrated by Death and I loved that The Book Thief's protagonist was a child - I find adolescent characters the most fascinating as their observations on life are normally the most honest and their actions are the purest. Plus, Liesel reminded me of a mixture of Scout Finch & Lyra Belacqua who come from two books/series that I love.

There are some books where you want to talk about them after and say ‘Oh there was this wonderful quote/line and … what was it again? Something about …’ and the memory is gone. This book was packed with such quotes/lines. Like countless books before this, I haven’t learned my lesson and can’t remember any of them. Damn.

I cried. A LOT. I still can’t believe Hitler, and everything he did, is an actual part of history. I don’t understand, I really don’t. If you are as scared as me to read sad books, ignore your instincts and read it because I think it's important to do so. It can be bought on Amazon (here).

I better stop now because anyone who comes across this blog post (that isn’t my mother - who coincidentally has read it) will have probably read it already. Back to editing!

Until next time.