Keep writing. Don't give up

This will be more of the same really and to use a very modern saying, I am very "on brand". I think by now, you know what you are getting with this blog. The title's a bit vague but really, it's more of a general update with, shock horror, some word counts.

Honestly, life has stayed the same. Days spent feeling scared, days of mild excitement and it swings from one to the other quite rapidly. The people who have read my short stories like them, but like is a very different thing to making it my full time job. For the last few years I have started to make some actual money from my writing - predominantly with the book I wrote about the battle with my skin, Curing my Incurable Eczema. Not much, but enough to feel like it's gone past a hobby now.

November was possibly one of the busiest writing months ever and whilst I was writing away doing NaNoWriMo every morning (full post about my experience with it this year *here*), ideas for two new short stories started brewing in my mind and so naturally, on Sunday 17th November when I was tucked into bed ready for an early night, I decided to start writing one of them and ended up writing 568 words of it. The following night, I did another 1,050 words. On Tuesday night, I wrote another 1,538 words which I really enjoyed and on Wednesday night (20th November) I wrote a further 1,967 words, bringing the total up to 5,123. It was only a mere 711 words on Thursday night as I couldn't keep my eyes open, which is a shame as I really wanted to carry on, but it was completely out of my hands ... maybe that has something to do with the fact I'd barely slept that week ... well anyway, on Sunday 24th November, after taking a few days break from it, and in the morning and having a brilliant NaNoWriMo session, I ended up writing and finishing the first short story which came in at a total of 8,515 words, meaning I wrote 2,681 words. I have mentioned before that every time I have finished writing a first draft, I quickly skim read it, tarting it up slightly before I send it to Mum, and on Monday night, I tried my best to do that, but my eyes were shutting in front of the screen again and so had to give up after 45 minutes, but the following evening, on Tuesday 26th November, I ended up doing it and bringing the final word count of the first draft up to 8,750 words.

On Sunday 1st December, when I felt very hungover and exhausted, again I naturally thought that was the perfect time to start writing the other short story I had an idea for and so before bed, I wrote 1,093 words. On Monday, I really didn't feel like working on the short story, so instead I wrote a 735 word article for a future website on the condition I suffered from for over two years, red skin syndrome. I was very happy with it and really love writing non-fiction just as much as fiction, but after that I felt a bit burnt out so I stopped for the day.

On Tuesday 3rd December, I slept in till 7.30am so I didn't have the time to do anything else, but after work, I spent an hour rejigging what I had written so far of the short story before bringing up the total to 2,028 words. Yesterday morning, I continued working on it and wrote a further 1,736 words and in the evening, I wrote in a kind of daze, but somehow finished it, coming in at 5,255 words, meaning I wrote another 1,491 words. Honestly, I am writing this post the following morning (hello 6am) and don't think I've ever felt so tired. It was very late by the time I finished last night, so heaven knows what the thing reads like. When I read through it quickly, I wasn't even conscious of what I was doing. I've sent it to Mum anyway so we'll see what she thinks. It definitely needs the most work out of all the stories I've written so far, but hopefully it also has some potential. Honestly, this is the first short story where the words have been more of a struggle at times to get out, but I wouldn't call it writer's block and more the case that I am so tired, my brain feels as if it is over capacity after all the words of the previous month and the beginning of this one.

The title of this post relates to what I tell myself every day when it's 5.55am and I'm cold and tired. Don't overthink things, Cara, just keep writing, don't give up and one day it will be good. I could be delusional, I could just be very tired, but either way, I'll do it and see what happens because really, I don't have an alternative. That's nice in a way. I literally don't have another option and am stuck in the middle of a tiny island barely large enough to fit me and just have to do exactly what I am doing in order to stay alive and not fall off the edge of it.

I am now going to have three and a half days completely off - absolutely no writing whatsoever - before I start reading through my first series again, Weighting to Live, because my goal is to get it sorted by the new year which would mean all my books are in a very good place and ready to really push next year.

Stick a fork in me, I'm done.

Until next time,
Cara x