Welcome to hell: the submission process. Part five, I'm finished

And so, around an hour ago, I sent off my last email to the agents – but before I go into all of that, I'll update you on everything that's happened since my last post. 

Last week, I went through quite possibly every single emotion a human can experience, but from Wednesday onwards, I landed on calm(ish) with an uneasiness in my chest after all the emotions of the last few weeks. Aside from applying to literary agents, I've not been feeling too great mentally as there has been a lot going on.

After finishing the final read-through last Monday, I then completed the synopsis for each short story and worked on the cover letter to every agent. I then put all the short stories together in one word document and it was then that it really hit me just how much work had gone into every single one and that now it was an actual book filled with 79,864 words. Awkwardly, last week, I also realised that I can't count as I realised that I wasn't applying to nine agents, like I'd said, but eight. Apart from that, the week just slipped through my fingers and time passed, filled with admin and other stuff that needed to be done. For some reason, last Friday, my mum decided that she wanted to read every single short story again (just for fun) and she ended up sending me a couple of minor edits. After going through each story with a fine tooth comb, it's astounding that there were STILL typos and punctuation etc. that needed to be added. After I had done all that, I cut off for the weekend. 

This morning, after breakfast, I began sending out emails to the agents, but it took so long because I was so scared of sending the wrong thing or making any kind of mistake that might stop them from taking my submission seriously. When I was finished, I felt very positive as I knew that I had done everything I could and they will either like them or they won't. I remain realistic and am just excited for the future, whatever it holds. 

As of this morning, I feel much better mentally, but I am looking forward to taking some time off. Time to switch off my head completely and have some nothingness. 

Looking back over the last seven years of writing, I have made made so many mistakes, but I have also learned so much, about writing and myself, so even the bad stuff becomes good. I feel at peace and like I'm in a new chapter with my writing. I feel myself getting very corny, so I shall leave it there.

Until next time

Cara x