A new record

Wow ok. So it's been nearly five months since my last update, but trust me when I say that it isn't because nothing has been going on - quite the opposite. I feel like that line is becoming a bit of a tradition on this blog now. Another long-running tradition is to say I shall keep this post brief - yet another tradition is that that statement a total lie and this post will be monstrous in size (I am very, very sorry). As it's been nearly five months since my last update, naturally, I have a lot to say, although some of the details are a little hazy now as it's been so long, but I will try to remember what I can. 

Straight after my last blog post I focussed mostly on book admin for a few weeks:

• I added my non-fiction works, Curing my Incurable Eczema and Stuff I'll Tell You To Do That I Won't Do Myself to Apple Books. If I'm being totally honest, the whole process was a bit of a faff, especially with the formatting, but I got there in the end and I'm glad I persevered. 
• I decided to change my author names Cara Rachel Ward (which I used to house my Weighting to Live series on Amazon) and C.R. Ward (which I used to house my Thirty Minute Tales on Amazon) back to to Cara Ward, but keep the books separate on the three author pages. I separated my books originally because of the Amazon algorithm, and the books all being in various genres, but seeing them under different names really jarred with me. Now they are all under Cara Ward again, it has made me feel much better, I just wish they were together on one author page instead of three. Saying that, for now, it's the best option I can think of and at least they are just under one name again. 
• As part of my Weighting to Live series, I decided to create a paperback with Changes, Sixteen Months and Plus Uno which I have called The Final Chapters. I have already done a paperback like this before (under the name The Triple Bill) but decided against it, until recently when I realised it was daft not having the whole series available as a paperback. I am happy with the cover, too, thanks to my dear friend, Canva (below). 
  
  
  
  

In mid-September, just as I was about to concentrate on editing the eight short stories I'd written from the end of 2019 till Summer 2020, everything changed and I basically downed tools and threw myself into all things TSW. If you weren't aware, TSW stands for Topical Steroid Withdrawal which was the drug withdrawal I went through from June 2013 to August 2015 because my skin was reliant on steroids which I had been using to treat my eczema that I'd suffered from since I was a baby. Basically, I had grown out of my original eczema but didn't realise as I had developed a dependency to the steroids and the only way to get better was to stop using them (please note, I am not a medical professional and I'm certainly not offering medical advice). When I went through TSW, I was basically housebound from my symptoms, it was horrific, but after two years, I ended up with the best skin of my life. What made me concentrate on TSW stuff again was the fact that an American dermatologist (who shall remain nameless) thought it would be acceptable to market their steroid cream as a 'household essential' and a 'dream cream'. It was possibly one of the most irresponsible marketing campaigns I have ever seen for what is essentially a very serious medication. After three weeks of basically fighting this company morning, noon and night, the company were forced to add warnings to their website listing for it. It wasn't perfect, but it truly showed what is possible if you don't give up and fight for what you believe in. Since then, I have been fighting other TSW-related injustices, like dermatologists giving out shoddy medical advice and eczema associations who have continued to deny the potential dangers of these drugs, especially for those who suffer from eczema, as steroids are the first line treatment for the condition. 

In fighting against the 'dream cream' company, it sparked a side of me that I didn't know existed. Before September I had spent over five years since recovering doing what I could to help people going through TSW, but when everything happened with this company and their 'dream cream', I think I truly realised just how passionate I am that no one else has to suffer, like I did, because sadly what happened to me was completely preventable. Right now, there are thousands (if not millions - and I'm not even being dramatic) of people around the world that think they just have severe eczema when instead they are addicted to the medication that is meant to be helping them. It's a joke. 

Well anyway, up until a week ago, all things TSW had completely dominated my life and in October 2020 when we'd had our little victory against the 'dream cream' company, I slowly but surely returned to writing and began editing my short stories. Before I share how the editing process has been, in last blog post I mentioned briefly that I'd been doing some thinking about my short stories. In a nutshell, I've decided to collate the eight short stories that I've already self-published, along with the ones I've been editing recently (bar one which I plan to self-publish separately), and put them in one book with the goal of getting them traditionally published. 

I am very close to finishing editing them, so I'll try my best to give you an abridged version (lol) of how the editing process has been. 

On Friday 20th October I started editing the eight short stories. It's been a relatively simple process where I will read through and edit each short story, then separately, my mum will do exactly the same, before we come together and go through our edits. It's a system that works very well for me. They say to never let a loved one, like a parent, edit your work, but the beauty of my mum is 1. I respect her opinion and 2. She wants the best for me so she will be completely honest. This doesn't mean I listen to her every single time, but we are definitely on the same page and make a good team. We are currently on the fifth round of edits, which we should finish in the next few days. After that, we will do one more round of edits before one final read through together. I have banned myself from reading them anymore after that because the last thing I want is for the stories to be almost sterile. I think that's the danger with over-editing, you run the risk of losing character. 

I have to say, I have had the BEST time editing them. It's actually been so much fun. Like I said earlier, up until recently, I hadn't spent a lot of time editing them because of everything TSW related, but last week, I was able to concentrate on them fully and since then, I can't believe how much I've been able to do. 

What has been an absolute joy in editing them is seeing the stories come together. Almost like pruning a rose bush; cutting away the dead and diseased parts and seeing it bloom and glow. Slowly but surely they have come together and I'm so happy with them. 

Personally, it's also been a really positive time and since last September, some amazing people have come into my life. It has also been a time of real growth. When I say, 'I've changed', I really have. Over the last five months I have become stronger as a person and will never let anyone treat me badly again - and this is coming from someone who has spent most of their life being a doormat. It's been quite life-changing actually. 

I am still furloughed from my job, and it looks like I will be for quite some time yet, and whilst I obviously wish that Covid wasn't a thing, I am grateful for the time it has given me to fight for TSW and be able to work on writing full-time, along with learning so much about myself as a person. 

The only negative personally came recently when I realised I was using my phone waaaaaay too much and had literally no boundaries to the point that I ran myself into the ground (again). That, on top of some women that made Instagram a not very nice place to be, I had to force myself to completely come off social media and take some time away from my phone. I logged out of Instagram on Sunday 24th January and since then, bar a rather dramatic panic attack in bed that night, I've found myself slowly but surely unwinding. Last week was difficult at times mentally, but now that I've had some real time away from my phone, I feel transformed. It's like a dark cloud has been lifted, it's incredible. 

Also, last week, after literally MONTHS, I started reading again, and had completely forgotten what a pleasure it is to read. Now, most nights, I look forward to nothing more than curling up in bed with a book. I truly believe it's what helped me recover mentally since taking a step away from my phone and social media. 

I plan to return to Instagram etc. after I have applied to the literary agents, but before I do, I will be putting in some serious boundaries so I don't slip back into bad habits. 

For the next few weeks my goal is to finish the short stories and simultaneously make a list of all the literary agents I want to contact. I am going to attempt to update this blog a little more as I go through the submission process because this blog will always first and foremost be my personal writing journey. I am going into the process realistic about my chances as most literary agents don't represent them so the odds are stacked against me, but just like they say in The Hunger Games, hopefully the odds will be in my favour. No matter what, I'm excited for the ride because life is meant to be one giant adventure after all, isn't it?

Until next time

Cara x